REFUSAL colors that of emerald eyes, averting such gaze away from lady mother’s sight as they wander the room AIMLESSLY. years of frustration & RESENTMENT flicker across his features, jaw clenching so fiercely it aches, but he does not whine as body wills him. teeth clamp upon tongue until the taste of IRON bleeds ‘pon it & body goes rigid, shrinking into himself as if he FEARS her touch. he swallows, harshly, albeit, but the blood that rakes down his throat feels like wildfire as it slips deep into his gut, WARMING him, fueling the fire of his frustration like GASOLINE.
golden brows furrow into a TIGHT line across the crevice of forehead, his lips part to speak, but he shuts them tightly, fearing what he will say to her if he dares to speak TRUE. she weeps & though oft would he comfort his mother’s sorrows, holding her flush unto his chest & nuzzling into her hair, he stands still as cut MARBLE, stone made of flesh & bone & blood. eyes flicker to hers for but a moment & he feels a PIT form within gut, burrowing down deep into flesh & muscle until he feels bile rise in the back of throat, swallowed down HARSHLY & bitten back before it can rise again.
❛ you TORE her away from me as father did with tysha. you took her from me & you knew — you KNEW that i loved her. ❜ voice is eerily CALM, low & dense, but tone never raised. chest swells & shrinks, breath rapid & feral in his lungs, SPITE biting at every word that spills across lips, as if wounding her would heal the hole her decision had left so many years ago. ❛ the targaryens, they wedded brother & sister for YEARS – but i have never been allowed to have her. ❜ a growl leaks from every word, DRIPPING with a loathing he’d felt naught for anybody but robert baratheon, yet it fills him, BOILS from breastbone & spills like poison from his lips.
❛ she was the only thing i EVER wanted — & you took her from me. ❜
every word cuts DEEP into her soul, tearing and ripping her heart to absolute SHREDS.
never, in all her years, has she ever felt so SMALL ; and never would she have expected
to feel this way at the hand of the man she raised, who clung to her skirts as a child and
listened to her SING, who asked for stories of knights in battle as he was tucked into
bed at night and climbed onto her shoulders to stand as tall as the giants.
no. never, not if she lived a million lifetimes, would she ever have expected THAT.
the LOATHING she hears in his voice is enough in itself to make her body shake, and
she feels on the verge of COLLAPSE ; no, NO, she CAN’T have inflicted this much pain.
not in her very efforts to protect him. and yet, she stands before him, tears clouding her
vision as full SOBS wrench free from her throat, voice hoarse when she finds the strength
to speak once more.
“ you were only CHILDREN, jaime, i thought —- i thought i could SAVE YOU from
YOURSELVES. the targaryens wedded brother and sister, yes, but where are they
now ? we are LANNISTERS, not targaryens. “ slender, shaking fingers wipe tears
from her cheeks as she looks up to meet his eyes once more, pleading and desperate.
“ you must at least TRY to understand. the whole night, i cried … you screamed, and i
cried in my bedchamber alone. i hated myself for what i did to you, but i had to believe
that it was for the BEST. that i was protecting you. “