DARLING SON.
shoulders grow HEAVY with the weight of the world thrust upon them, but someone he manages to put one foot in front of the other, till they two meet halfway in the hall. dragon skulls LOOM from every pillar, their great big TEETH threatening to tear him apart from every direction he dares to look & eventually, eyes focus only upon lady mother’s features, as if trying to hold on some shed of FAMILIARITY as he sinks away inside himself, hiding away within his own thoughts as the sound of heavy beating heart fills his ears.
for a moment he but STARES, as if her presence could no longer be true. no, she could not be here, it was TOO GOOD to be true. the gods were not merciful, they were not forgiving, they would not bless him with her ethereal presence after he’d FORSAKEN the vows he swore moons ago. yet as he collapses upon his knees unto the floor, burying face into her skirts, he can smell her, the sweet fragrance of his mother & he nearly WEEPS with joy from her presence. though tears blur his eyes & throat is too tight to speak, he tugs on her, insistent on her comforting arms, as if his mother is the only woman in the world who could SOOTHE this shattered soul. & perhaps she is.
lips part & he wheezes as he reaches out for her like a CHILD, wrapping arms about her lower waist as forehead presses against her hip, furrowed brow so tight his skin feels stretched like RUBBER pulled too tight. but he does not let go, rather lets raspy breaths escape in harsh spurts, PANIC becoming him as it engulfs his entire system, body shaking & lungs seeming to COLLAPSE under the pressure of his SLAUGHTER. he claws at her gown, as if she were not quite paying attention & he looks up to her, tears that mimmick hers flowing down cheeks as if he’s trying to make her understand.
❛ he wanted to BURN the city to ash — i HAD to … i had to. ❜
he transforms SEEMINGLY before her eyes. one moment, she is staring at the stone
face of a man, a knight, a face that so reminds her of tywin ; the next, it is a little boy
clutching at her skirts, breaths desperate as he holds close to her.
SHOCK, she will realize later, is why memories suddenly come back to her in a FLOOD ;
jaime giggling in her arms as she swings him back and forth, hiding in her skirts after
being scolded by his father, asking for a bedtime story, laughing from atop his horse,
kissing her on the cheek before riding off to battle for the first time.
he has had to grow up much too quickly, she realizes. he is only a child being forced
to wear the body, to carry the responsibilities of a MAN.
his fingers clawing at her gown are what finally break her. she falls to her knees in front
of him, slender fingers reaching to cup his cheeks.
“ my son, my son —- “
her voice shakes SLIGHTLY, but she forces the tears from her eyes. she can not allow
herself to fall apart as long as he is. he needs her to be STRONG.
he wanted to burn the city to ash.
“ —- listen to me, jaime. only to me. you need to breathe. in —- out. breathe.“
i had to.
she wraps her arms around him, pulls him close, into the SAFETY of her arms.
a gentle kiss is pressed to his temple, shaking hands rubbing comforting patterns
up and down his SPINE.
“ i know, my love. i know. it’s okay. it’s okay.
i’m here. i’ve got you. i’ve got you. i’ve got you. “